There is an overwhelming desire to make various issues or decisions out to be black or white. That is to say, we tend to think only in extremes.
iPhone or Android
Democrat or Republican
Carbs or No Carbs
The reality is, almost always, that the best solution is somewhere in between, and that there is more than one correct answer. On top of that, what is “right” is often abstract, impossible to know, or is always moving…or, more often, it’s all three.
In our example above
iPhone is great for some people, Android works better for others – there is no “best”
Democrat or Republican – somewhere in the middle is probably the best option for most of us, but each individual has different needs
Carbs or No Carbs – what about “fewer carbs” or “healthy amount of carbs”?
How to Know What is Right
Since there really is no right answer, then how are we to traverse life? Well, for starters, we can all acknowledge that there are a range of correct answers to nearly every issue. There may be a right answer for us individually, but what is right for you may not be right for everyone.
When I was shopping for a new smartphone many years ago, after my HTC Tilt 2 was giving out, I had an important decision: Android, or iPhone. I went with Android, because it gave me more freedom, and I like having more choice in what happens on my screen. I was verbally attacked by some individuals – I’m not kidding. This became such a personal decision for some people, that they would attack those who came to a different conclusion. The truth is, there are a number of factors that go into a cell phone purchase decision: Price, Carrier, screen size, flexibility, ease of use, cool factor, camera resolution, perceived quality of the manufacturer. I had a certain set of criteria that led me to a Droid X. These other individuals had a set of criteria that led them to an iPhone. Other have criteria that lead to Blackberry’s, or Windows Phones, or feature phones.
The point is, we are all different. We have different needs, but we have a tendency to believe that the way we think is the way others think. As such, we tend to see those who have different viewpoints as being “wrong”. This transcends cell phones, and this works for politics, religion, financial management, decisions at work, decisions at home, etc. I wonder how much we could learn if we focused on why people make decisions, instead of which decisions they make.
Over the next week, when you find yourself calling someone “stupid” or “moronic”, even if it’s only in your head, ask yourself why did they make that decision? Why did they do what they did? What were their motivations, and how can you learn from them? You’ll be amazed at how much you learn, and at how much more the world begins to make sense to you.
I write a lot on this blog about how to get what you want – through productivity, personal development, and of course, Health, Wealth, and Love.
However, what if you don’t know what you want? So many people I talk to are just adrift – floating from job to job, girlfriend to girlfriend, video game to video game. They have no idea what they want, so what is the point of taking control? So they can more efficiently drift? No, that doesn’t make any sense.
This is a difficult topic for many folks to understand – they have always known what they want, and know what to pursue. Others haven’t known exactly what they want, but they have a general idea. If this is you, then stop reading this post now – you won’t get much out of it.
Perhaps I can help you to find what you really want out of life by telling my story. Keep in mind, however, that just because you know what you want, doesn’t mean that you’ll know how to get there, or that you’ll ever get there. However, Padorec readers are self actualized individuals who have control of their lives, and find a way to get what they want. You are one of these individuals. But know that just knowing what you want won’t be a magic pill.
I am not one of those people that has always known exactly what I want. Deep down, I have known, but I didn’t understand what I wanted for years. My Dad is fond of telling a story about when I was a kid. Apparently, I turned to him at one point and declared, very matter-of-factly, “Dad, I know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“What’s that?” He inquired, excited to hear what his only son had decided his fate should be.
“I’m going to be a Millionaire. I’m not sure how I’ll make it there, but I will be a Millionaire,” said I. Such a precocious little kid.
The reason I wanted the Million dollars was that I realized from a young age that being rich isn’t about having things (though many people use their money for that.) It’s about having the ability to control where the resources of the world go. If you are altruistic, then you can direct the resources to projects that help humanity. If you are a spoiled little brat, then you direct the resources to a luxury home builder, a Lamborghini dealership, and, maybe, to Gulf Stream. No matter how you spend it, having money gives you options.
I remember telling my Mom multiple times that I would get a bunch of money and find a cure for Diabetes. I wanted to ease her pain. I also told her I would find out why she can’t eat tomatoes, (she loves tomatoes, but can’t eat them because it causes arthritis flare ups) and then breed a tomato without that particular chemical compound. I wanted to ease her pain, and improve her quality of life.
I also have always loved learning. Every subject imaginable captures my interest. I never really accepted that it was impossible to know everything. I believed that we could find a way to cram the entirety of human knowledge into our brains. I realized, however, that this would take more time than one has in a single life, which is why I do not accept that we have to die. In fact, I do not plan on dying. For some, this is a bold statement, but the scientific research actually back this up quite well. (I would direct you to read Ray Kurzweil’s books for more information)
So, I want to learn everything ever – or at least be able to call up that knowledge. Great. But then I realized that Humanity will eventually no longer be able to live on this rock we call Earth. So we need to escape. But then I realized that due to the Entropy (and a couple of laws of thermodynamics), we will need to escape this Universe. Okay, that’s when I developed my own theory of the multi-verse (before I ever read a thing about the concept of a multiverse I might add). We need to figure out how to escape this universe.
Okay, so to learn everything, I have to not die. Additionally, we will need to know what exists outside of this Universe, so we have to escape this Universe. Additionally, I want humanity to live on, so to do that we will have to escape earth. Then, eventually, we will have to escape the Universe. That’s cool – we can do it. But I want to be around for it.
So, ultimately, what I want to do is to Leave Humanity off Better than I found it.
That is my mission. Me manifesto. That is what I strive for – what I want.
Right now, that mission takes the form of this blog. If I can help to create one self actualized individual because of this blog, then I have succeeded. I know I want to help humanity, and now I have a target.
How Does This Help You?
Telling stories about myself is fun. Now you can see just a little bit of what goes on in the – sometimes messed up – mind of Paul Recchia. But how does this apply to you?
If you are struggling to know what you want to do with your life, then ask yourself one question. What gets you excited?
Is it your spouse? Your Kids? Maybe you are meant to be a family man or woman.
Your Job? Sales? Maybe you should be a career shark.
Tinkering in your garage? Maybe be a Mechanic, or inventor.
Money? (A lot of people seem to be driven by this, unfortunately) then follow my example above, and figure out why you are excited about money. Is it because of the things you can buy with it? Then ask yourself why those things excite you.
Reading? Learning? Then maybe you are meant to be a lifelong scholar.
I could keep listing examples, but the point is that you need to take some time, do some soul searching, and understand what really fires you up. If nothing fires you up, then it may be time to try something new. Take an art class. Go get a video camera and start making videos. Start blogging, take a course on business, go to a new bar. Whatever it is, try something new. If nothing you are doing right now gets you excited, then it’s time for you to go seek it out.
A lot of people struggle with this because of invisible scripts. They are full of self-doubt, and believe that they can’t pursue a passion because it wont’ pay well.
News flash, you don’t need lots of money if you are fulfilled. You need some money to pay bills, but not gobs of it. If you are enjoying your passion, then ask yourself, what is the point of having more money?
Pro Tip: if you are doing something you are passionate about, others will notice and you may even be able to turn that passion into an additional income (that’s for a wholly different post).
They think that they have to be “responsible” and follow the social norms. Screw social norms. If you love to travel, then find a way to quit your job and travel. If that’s too extreme, then go take a really great trip. Use up your vacation, use up a chunk of your bank account, but go do it.
Understand that you do not have to be drastic right now. There is no risk in finding out what you want to do – you don’t need to worry about quitting your job, or booking a trip around the world. Right now, you just need to find the thing you love to do. If you love it, and you’ve identified it, then you have accomplished your mission thus far. You still have to figure out the how, and Padorec will help with that, but at least the what is taken care of.
For my loyal readers, you’ll notice that the blog looks completely different. That’s because it is completely different.
I’ve migrated from Blogger (hosted by Google) to WordPress, hosted by me. This gives me much more flexibility and freedom in the design of the blog. In addition, it is a much better back end system that should make the reading experience better.
Look for new features as I continue this migration, and enjoy the new Padorec!
Bring something cool and unique to your next party
Now you can get packets which will allow anyone to make their own flavored liquor. We all love a good flavored liquor, but most brands are made with chemicals and other nasty stuff.
These infusion kits include only the Highest quality spices from around the world.
You simply open up the packet of spices, dump it into your bottle of liquor (750mL) and let it sit for 2-4 weeks…the longer it sits, the stronger it gets. At the end of the two to four weeks, you filter out the spices (the filter is included) and it’s ready to drink!
You can currently get access to two time tested flavors for $5 each:
Vanilla Rum (or Vodka)
You’ll be floored by the flavors of these liquors! You can take a cheap bottle of liquor, and turn it into something magical.